So let's take a look at MY opinion of the Top 11. Tonight is the night that TWO are voted off because the judges used their ever-coveted "Judges Save" on someone last week. Dim the lights, Here We Go!
First up is little Thia Megia. Awwwww, how cute you are. You took advantage of the newly added clause to let 15 year olds audition. You are a child. Barely old enough to really understand the pressures of the real world, let alone win a million dollar contract. Week after week, I see no oomph, wait, not a good description...ummm, how should I put this...no panache. No wow factor. You're cute as a button. But, for me, that's it. You play it safe with a "ballad" (a word that is overused by the judges) every single week. You really don't have the chops to make it. Come back when you're at least 18 or so, after you've studied your driver's license exam and had a chance to go to prom. But, YOU'RE SO DARNED CUTE!
Lauren Alaina: Oh little Lauren. So sweet, so country, so ditzy, yet so unique. She's one of those that every week I try hard not to like her, but she casts a spell on me. She's young like Thia, but for some reason I feel that she would actually do well in this business. If only I could get past her sounding like she's a typical blonde from a small southern town, then I know she'll do fine. Last night's performance of "Candle in the Wind" was in my opinion, her best yet. Why? She didn't be-bop along the stage trying to sing cute pop songs. I believe country music is her calling and last night she took this tired song from the 80's and revamped it. And since she was born probably after the revised Princess Diana version came out, she had no idea how tired I was of this song. But thanks be to glory, Lauren did a lovely job, and made me forget how I really never liked this song.
Oh it's you, Stefano Langone. You're the one, week after week, that I always seem to forget until the moment you appear to sing. Why? I am not sure. You're not memorable enough to me??? I really don't like your voice. It's kind of grating. Yeah sure, you do an okay job, but you're one of those that skirts on by...maybe it's the popularity vote that I mentioned earlier. Not sure. You're a cutie, but I am not a teen girl, so therefore I will never vote for you. Wait, who is this? Oh, it's Stefano. See, I already forgot you.
Paul McDonald: I don't enjoy you at all. Your mega-watt smile is what is carrying you thru, week after week. I am convinced that your usage of white strips for your mouth is creating such a shine in people's eyes that they can't see the awful disaster of you singing on stage. You sound okay (as long as my eyes are covered) but you look like a spastic on stage. It makes me uncomfortable to watch. Your voice is unique...I'll give you that. But not enough to wow me into voting for you. I am not blinded by your teeth at all. Good luck and goodbye.
Naima Adedapo is one irritating person. I get the fact that you pay homage to your roots, but loosen up a bit. You did nothing for that reggae sound to an Elton John song, and it was wrong of you to try. Shame shame! You are not Jamaican, mon. Next, I would suggest trying to do something different with that hair. I hate it. You're so pretty and that hair is not doing you any favors. I mean, you're gorgeous. I am quite jealous of your beautiful skin. Just please...lose the dreads. Back to your voice: you sing lovely, but there is something else, can't quite put my finger on it....put it this way, you probably won't win. Just throwing out the truth.
Pia Toscano. You've been compared to Celine Dion. You're an AWESOME singer butttttttt....you're boring. Yeah. Boring. My wish for you is to have some grit in your voice. You know, throw a little dirt on that smooth voice. I bet you could do it. In fact, I bet you are the dark horse of the season. Sure you get praised week after week for your flawless performance. But you lack a personality. With that, the viewers might grow tired of this Celine like style and not vote for you. If you're back next week, I suggest something a little wilder, maybe some Adele or Beyonce. Hey, you're gorgeous! No worries about your career path though.
Beam me up Scotty! Yeah, Scotty McCreery is a good ol' country crooner. I don't like country music, but I do like this kid. For someone so young (a mere 18), he's got the rich voice of country legends way ahead of his time. I would love to see him sing an old Hank Williams song. But, he has to sing with a guitar in hand. Just like Paul McDonald, this kid is tad bit uncomfortable when he's on stage with just a microphone. He grips it so tight and makes these awkward facial expressions, as if he's constipated. With guitar in hand, this was by far your best attempt at doing something away from the norm. I like it. Do more of that.
Ladies and Gentleman, it's Jacob Lusk. It's so easy to love this teddy bear. His buttery voice just melts on contact. But my fear is that he is getting to be like Pia, very predictable. He sings, the choir comes in behind him, he ends on a LONG, HIGH note. That's it. I love him, I really do. But sad to say, I can almost predict his singing style before he sings that first note. Jacob, I want you to try something different, I don't know what...but something. Oh well. I am Judge Mental, what do I know?
Haley Reinhart: You've got this Jekyll and Hyde thing going. One week I really am irritated with you, the next I think "hmmm, she's pretty good." But I don't understand the need to dirty up every single song you sing. This is where she is the opposite of Pia. The two could trade singing styles for one week and I believe it would make a difference. Haley, I love your unique style. You're a good looking young woman, but again...I can't put my finger on what exactly IT is that bothers me. Oh well. You're another one that I don't see making it too much longer. Good luck.
This here is James Durbin. He is one that I love. But I didn't always love him. When he first started out, he was a little bit too Adam Lambert-esque for me. I think that everyone must have told him this, as he has stopped doing that and has developed his own style. Kudos! You're born to rock and you carry that persona very well. I want you to make it to the finals so I can see Steven Tyler make good on his promise to sing on stage with you. How AWESOME would that be?
Oh Casey! I love you and your grizzly look. You are so much fun to watch on stage, both singing and not singing. I think you would be great on stage as a performer in little ol' community theatre. Yeah. You've got some great talent kid! I am torn though as to who I want to win, but you sure are putting forth your best effort. Bring back the upright bass!! I firmly believe that you will be in the final round.ORDER IN THE COURT!! *bangs my gavel* Okay, I know that everyone who watches the show, has their own opinion of who should win, so don't hate on me. But, I will give you my pick for the bottom three tonight.
1. Thia
2. Stefano (who? HA HA HA)
3. Naima
Now, a word of advice to the judges: BE MEAN. BE HONEST. Put the fear of God in these kids. Some of them need that. Quit being nice to every single contestant. Wound them and then pour lemon juice on them to make it sting. Think, "What Would Simon Say?" You're all a bunch of pansies.
Until Next Time, I shall remain
Judge Mental
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