"Dim the lights, here we go" -Ryan Seacrest
Let's start off with something I noticed right off the bat. Will.I.Am (or is it will.i.am?) is not in the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame. In fact, this Black Eyed Peas singer is not even rock-n-roll in my opinion. Oh what do I know? Oh yeah, I do know that Steven Tyler is in the Hall of Fame. I mean, they spent a good 5 minutes on him at the beginning of the show which makes me wonder why the producers didn't use someone of his caliber to be the mentor for the week. oh well...
As an added bonus to today's blog, each of our contestants will get an award from me.
The "I Can't Believe His Voice is like Butter" Award:
Jacob: He's the soulful crooner I dubbed as having a buttery smooth voice. He sang Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror", which is a personal favorite of mine from Jackson himself, but when Jacob sang it...ughhhh, not so magical. The all white suit he was wearing reminded me of an orderly from a mental institution. I was also less than amused at a comment he made prior to singing. Not remembering the exact words of his pre-sing interview, he said something like "if I get in the bottom 3, it isn't because of my singing, it's because people were afraid to look in the mirror".... WHAT? Anyhow, he sounded good, not great. I will just chalk it up to bad health or something.
Most Improved Award:
Haley: This raspy singer FINALLY sang a song from the late great Janis Joplin. Her song choice: "Piece of my heart". This song was meant for Haley. Therefore, this was her time to shine. This was the second week in a row that I enjoyed her performance. Loved it Haley! Not sure what J-Lo meant when she said "You'll be around for a minute", but hey...it's all good.
The "You really look like that dude from The Hangover, but sing really well" Award:
Casey: I think you read my blog last week. I told you that I wanted you to bring back that big ol' bass and you did. Thank you. You must know though, I am not a huge fan of CCR, so therefore, I was not a huge fan of your song choice. But hey, you did a good job. Let's just get rid of the growl or whatever it is you do. Not sure if that is your signature thing or not, but it's quite annoying now. Quite.Annoying. I still have nothing but love for you brother.
Your mood swings are driving me crazy Award:
Lauren: I think you're cute as a button. I am not sure what in the world you're talking about when you say things like "I have confidence issues" when clearly, some weeks you're flirting with Ryan and/or Steven. Some weeks you look like you just got slapped before heading to the stage, and other weeks you're full of confidence and charisma. I don't get it. But I still love your voice. Let's focus on last night though. You chose an Aretha Franklin song. GIRL...WHY? You don't have the chops to pull that off. No one does. Well, I bet Pia would...that's a whole other story. The song didn't work to your favor. Pick a mood and stick with it. I prefer the perky little Lauren who skips around on stage acting all cutesy and stuff. Apparently you don't take criticism well if you are STILL harboring emotional issues over something the judges said, like WEEKS ago.
I thought you were going to be another Adam Lambert but you proved me wrong Award:
James: Oh sweet James. You killed it last night with your performance of "While my guitar gently weeps." It was so enduring and tender, so unexpected of you. The ONLY complaint I have is when the audience is forewarned that you're going to surprise them with a slow ballad. I wish the producers wouldn't show those kind of clips and just let you enter the stage and take us all by surprise with your song choice. So quit saying things to the camera like "America, I'm going to shock with you with my song choice" or whatever. ANYHOW, I still heart you! I want you to make it to the Top 3.
I Move Like the Tin Man without his Oil Can Award:
Scotty: Here's a guy that I truly enjoy listening to week after week. He's also the guy that I easily make fun of week after week. He is so rigid when he sings that he cradles the microphone like it's going to break or something. You chose to sing an Elivs song. The judges thought it was crazy good and saw a different side to you. WHAT? I saw the same ol' country boy singing last night. I did enjoy it, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Oh well. You'll make it thru. Just loosen up. Stop the lip curling thing too, it's quite annoying. And for the record, your last name sounds like it would be the name of a good bar, or something. Don't you think? McCreery's..has a nice little ring to it. A good Irish Pub or something. Or even a department store. Who knows?
Warning: Christian Slater is sitting creepily behind the judges...
NEXT...
She CAN sing something up-tempo Award:
Pia: No doubt you're probably the prettiest contestant on Idol and you have the best voice too. Sometimes your stage presence tended to lack because you chose a ballad. Not this week. This week you chose a Tina Turner song and you nailed it. You also proved that you are capable of moving around on stage instead of standing firmly planted in one spot. Your song choice was "River Deep, Mountain High" was not as familiar to me, but I still loved it though. I was getting a visual cardio workout watching you move. It's good to not be sedate, isn't it? You'll still be around. Remember Pia, I dubbed you the dark horse.
Wait, I forgot about him...what's his name...Award:
Stefano: Dude, sorry. You've never been my favorite. I know of a few friends who love you, but you just haven't brought it for moi. Even after you chose Percy Sledge's "When a Man loves a woman", you still bored me to tears. Is it any wonder that I forget about you week after week? I predicted a bottom 3 for you last week, but was proven wrong by the viewers. This week, I will STILL put you there. Too bad.
The Crest White Strips Award:
Paul: The last singer of the night was this guy. He picked a Johnny Cash song. HE.PICKED.A.JOHNNY.CASH.SONG. Seriously. He picked "Folsom Prison Blues". Now, now, now...he didn't sound that bad. I am just merely judging him against Cash himself. I probably shouldn't do that. In fact, I should be grateful that Paul didn't try and make it sound like Jack Johnson (which is what he does every week). The dance moves he comes up with make me think that somewhere...out there...in this great big world...is a group of drunk people watching this in a bar, and they're trying to replicate his moves. A girl can dream, right? Oh, and the song you sung isn't meant to be sung like you're at a hoedown. Just throwing that out there. And, it's about someone getting shot or something...just throwing THAT out there too.
My pick for the bottom three:
Jacob (butter boy)
Stefano (who?)
Paul (sponsored by Crest, the makers of White Strips) HA HA, wait...should I have permission for that line?
My pick for going home, let's just say this one isn't going to be easy. I've been gunning for the same two to leave since day one. If either of the two (who? and Crestboy) leave, then I'll be happy.
So, who would you pick for the bottom three? Better yet, who do you want to see take their luggage and leave the show?
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