Well bless my heart, I'm from the south Y'all!

**caution: this blog is kind of long**

Oh golly gee.  Only in Alabama would a story like this surface: (found this on the WKRG website)


by Associated Press



Published: Tue, April 12, 2011 - 10:09 am CST


Police found more than they expected when they responded to a domestic call Saturday.


ROGERSVILLE - Rogersville police found more than they expected when they responded to a domestic call Saturday.

Officer Mark White came upon a fully operational whiskey still. Rogersville police reported the find to the Alabama Alcoholic Beverage Control Board.

ABC agent Monty Merryman said 46-year-old Mark Joseph Lunsford was arrested. He's accused of using a 10-gallon metal milk jug with a propane burner to cook the whiskey. Officers found small amounts of the finished moonshine, but they discovered more than 25 gallons of the mash that was fermenting. Merryman says is it rare to find an active still.

Lunsford was taken to the Lauderdale County Detention Center and released on $1,000 bail.
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Well, at least this was not in my area of the state.  So no worries... 


That is, until you read a comment from a caller that was made in our local newspaper (Press-Register) Sound Off section yesterday. It's about some cruddy place stuck out on the west side of town:

A Unique Place
*The Mobile Flea Market has to be one of the best places ever.  I know of no other location where I can get knives bigger than my leg, all the live roosters you can carry out for $6, rugs with pictures of lions and naked women and eat corn on the cob fried and soaked in Tony's. ( that's Tony Chachere's seasoning for the uniniated)

It's stories like these that make our state worth making fun of.  As if that was not enough, Larry the Cable Guy has a show on The History Channel???? Yes, The History Channel.  It's called Only in America and one episode has our favorite "Git-R-Done" dude at our city's greyhound park.  Of ALL the things to focus on, they focus on this location.  Why not Mardi Gras?   Hmmmph!
 
The episode starts out with Larry interviewing a man about that "thing" that the dogs chase around the track.  It looks like a mop head or a pom-pom or something.  Then he interviews some man who is about to try out a new dog.  Next is where the fun begins...he picks two women to interview.  OH.MY.GOSH.  A perfect example...you know when a tornado comes and it strikes a certain area, and reporters always clammer to interview that one special person...you know, the one with missing teeth and bad hair, you know...???  Well, that is who we see Larry talking to.  A ray of sunshine she was.

This got me to thinking about the typical names of Southern people.  If your name happens to match one of these names, I'm sorry...but you'll agree I'm sure.
1. Savannah (pronounced Sahhhh-VAN-Ugh)
2. Haley (or Hayleigh or some variation thereof)
3. Jackson
4. Ashley (or Ashleigh or some variation thereof)
5. Anything with the middle name "Jo" attached to it, like Mary Jo or Samantha Jo.
6. Madison
7. Taylor
8. Austin (or some other geographical location of your choice, like Dallas or see #1)
9. Hunter (the outdoorsman)
10. Brianna (Breeee-Ann-ugh)
11. Tanya (kind of need a nasal sound when you say it)
12. Hannah

I am sure there are more.  I don't feel like upsetting the apple cart today.  I realize that some of you reading this either have a name like this or are related to someone with a name like this.  You're thinking "why she gotta talk 'bout my Sahhhh-VAN-Ugh like that?" Let me just say...I too have a loved one in my life with a name that is on the list.  But, I have a good sense of humor. 

If you truly want some good inspiration into the minds of southern people, then check out http://girloutofdixie.wordpress.com/  It's quite funny.  VERY funny. :)


Until Next Time, I shall remain:
A southern belle Y'all!