gender bender and a blunder from a blender

Oops, not a blunder from a blender.  Just a roofer.  But blender rhymed. 

OH to the EM GEEEEEEE....

So, here at work, our roof is being worked on, the building is being painted, trees are being trimmed, and pretty soon the parking lot will have a facelift.  There are quite a few men outside, working up a sweat, drinking tons of water.  So, when mother nature calls, you gotta go, right?  Here is the conversation that went down between he and I.

Big Burly Man: "Hey, where's the little girl's room?"

Me: *awkward silence*  managed to mutter out "ummmmm..."

Big Burly Man: *still more awkward silence*  managed to scarf up a look of confusion.

Me: "It's ummm....err....right here (dainty finger pointing at men's room sign).

Big Burly Man:  "Okay THANKS!  BYE!

Me:  (silently thinking) DID...THAT...JUST...HAPPEN? 

Don't laugh.  I think you would have been scared too.  How do you think he feels?  I am sure he got in there, unzipped his pants, rewinding the past few seconds in his brain and thought "DAMN! Did I just say that?"  Or, maybe, just maybe, he was testing me.  Because really now, I didn't give him the time of day until he asked me where that room was.   HE DIDN'T ASK FOR THE TME.  Geez.  I wasn't purposely ignoring him. Plus, he's all sweaty and stuff.  Eww.

Now on to the fun stuff.  Say reader, when you're alone in the car, what do you do?  Do you drive with the music blaring?  Do you dance?  Do you sing?  Do you pick your nose?  Well, I like to ride down roads that have steep hills and go "wheeeeeeeeeeee" all the way down the hill.  I guess it's better than what the little piggy does. HA!  I also like to sing.  And I like to count how many people have expired tags.  One thing that I think is pure awesomeness is just watching the expression on people's faces as they pass you in traffic.  AWESOME. 

In my spare time at work, I peruse a local real estate site and check out random houses in random neighborhoods that are for sale.  It's like being a voyeur, but not.  I look and see what the inside of the house is like.  I can tell right off the bat if it'll sell quick or not.  Yeah, I am an expert.  I've seen way too many  HGTV shows on it.  Like for instance, this one house in a zip code that is not as desirable as some others, has a house for sale on a street that may or may not contain sex offenders.  The inside of the house looks okay, except for the giant mirrors on the closet door.

 Oh, and the deer head mounted on the wood paneling looks pretty wacky. 

Let's not forget the overgrown hedges right outside by the front door.  Curb appeal means nothing to these people.  Of course, this isn't the actual house.  And of course, for a visual aid, I couldn't find a house that really and truly had overgrown hedges.  But this one will do.

Moving along to a new zip code.  I see here that we have a house for sale that is so huge, that literally 3 of my houses would fit inside of it.  I am just DYING to know what the inside looks like.  Okay, first picture is of this marble staircase, the kind that swirls and twirls.  Sitting under the staircase is a grand piano with a huge bouquet of flowers on it.  The floor is marble.  The front doors are like, 20 feet tall.  The furniture, though dated, is well taken care of.  The paintings on the wall reveal that this owner is a fine arts collector. Going thru the kitchen, it looks very modern and updated.  Weird, considering the rest of the house isn't modern with its decor and wall color.  The master bedroom is AWESOME.  Then, the sad part...the master bath has a horrible pink and green tile thing going on.  It's pretty big, but DANG...pink and green. 

But man, check out the back yard.  WHAT A HUGE POOL.  And they have curb appeal. And sex appeal, because hot diggity, there's a hot tub next to the pool.

Oh, you don't do this sort of stuff?  oh....
Fair warning, don't put your house on the market or you just might find yourself on this blog site.

Until next time, I remain,
full of static or just full of it.