May I be serious for a couple of minutes?

No doubt, last week was probably one of the hardest weeks I've had in a long time, emotionally speaking.  You know your week isn't going to be good, when the first thing that happens is you find one of your residents dead.  (I work at a retirement home) I was in shock for I had never had that happen to me in the 2 years that I've been here.  You would come to expect it though, but until it happens, you're really not sure how to react.

Fast forward 48 hours.  I learn of a good friend's passing.  Still reeling from the shock of finding my resident dead in his apartment, my body went numb with the news of my friend's death.  I couldn't cry, all I could do was think of our last time together.  My friend had been in so much pain from his back, that I could easily say, "Oh, he's not suffering anymore."  But, instead I say, "Why God? It's not fair!" 

In some ways, the two men had a lot in common.  They both served their country faithfully during a time of war.  One served during WWII, the other served in Iraq.  Both had a zest for life and both had a love for the outdoors. Most importantly, they both had a gift for wanting to give.  The age gap between the two is a good 45 years. Just watching the family's reaction to each death was very different, yet profound.

Mr. B (the elderly resident) died unexpectedly as well. His health was pretty fair for a man of his age.  He even had a girlfriend who was just a couple of years younger than he.  The two were always going out to symphony concerts, opera productions, and various other community events.  Prior to meeting his girlfriend, he was married for 63 years to a wonderful lady who passed away almost 2 years ago.  He started dating this new lady, but in reality, she wasn't new.  Turns out, they dated in high school and stayed connected thru the years with mutual friends.  His funeral last week was a celebration of the life he led.  A retired doctor, he worked many years with children, giving them the necessary vaccinations they needed.  Thousands of children received their immunizations because of him.  He was generous with donating to various charity organizations and was no stranger to just giving back to the community, only because he could.

My friend was more than just a random friend.  He was a great friend.  While he had his share of problems, he still wanted to give more to everyone.  Michael had a lot of personal issues in his life. He didn't have the money or affluence that Mr. B had, but yet, he was rich in love.  The problems in his life kept building up, but each time, he found himself surrounded with love by his close friends.  His real friends.  The ones who loved him no matter what.  I watched many times as my husband would reach out to Michael and encourage him in a way that I was never good at.  So many memories with Michael include laughter, tears, hugs, and more laughter.  He was one who never met a stranger.  Full of life and vigor, he was the envy of me, because he wanted to just be around people.  My life, as chaotic as it can be with theatre, always seemed so structured compared to his.  The last time I just let go and had a fun filled day has been way too long ago, that I believe Michael were to kick me in the rear and tell me to get out there and do it. 

I watched Michael struggle with personal demons.  I knew of his pain and his guilt over lots of issues.  I also knew that his core family unit wasn't as tight as Mr. B's.  But the one thing he had that Mr. B did not, was a sense of the real world.  Mr. B grew up in the depression era and worked hard for everything he had.  So years of service in the medical field yielded him the chance to see the world on a romantic vacation.  Michael saw the world thru a different set of eyes and experience.  His world travels came from the military and the struggles of the economy certainly got the better of him.  He didn't live long enough to retire and enjoy his golden years. Michael saw the ugliness of the real world and what it did for his friends. In fact, his last few months on Earth were painful.  Mr. B's last moments on Earth were joyful.  But another common factor these two had, they died knowing that someone loved them unconditionally.

Lisa came into Michael's life and not by accident.  Those who know Michael know that she had a profound impact on his life.  He also reconnected with an old classmate of his, Brian.  God used those two in a way that is nothing short of miraculous.  While he still struggled with personal pain, his outlook was different now.  Michael knew where he would spend eternity. 

So as I sat during Michael's funeral, I was instantly washed over with peace.  I no longer was mad that he was gone, I was relieved that God took him home to heal his pain.  Michael was finally reunited with the infant daughter he lost and was reunited with his grandmother.  While we here on Earth will miss him, God sees the bigger picture.  Thru this, I've met some wonderful people.  I met Lisa and I met Tammy.  Tammy was someone who came into his life in a unique way, becoming a rock for him, and vice versa.  All of us grieve and shared stories of crazy Michael.  Watching his family deal with his death in their own personal way was vastly different than Mr. B.  With Mr. B, at his age, death is almost expected.  With Michael's family, it was more somber and definitely sobering.

I learned a great lesson last Monday, after finding Mr. B dead, don't ever assume that someone doesn't answer their door because their hearing aid is off (which is what I did).  I learned an even greater lesson with Michael, don't let those you love go by without telling them that you love them.  With all the should of, could of, and would of excuses I could think of, I still never made the effort to go by there the day before Michael's death, like I thought about while I was at work.

I'm moving on.  I'm healing. I find that writing actually helps soothe my soul.  No more playing "Name that Tune" with Mr. B, because he and I both share a love of classical music. And no more hearty laughters from Michael, who had a way of exposing his sarcastic side when I needed it most.  Thanks to both men for opening their hearts to many people, all walks of life.