Scenes! Likes! Dislikes! Goals! Oh my!

 As per the title, this is one roller coaster of smatter.  You ready?  Buckle up!


I am here to happily report the chatterings of a group of senior women at work.  Just when you think your life is bad, they have it worse.  Maybe...Here are a few scenarios:

SCENARIO 1:
"I went to the gas station with my daughter.  Can you believe that they don't do Full Service anymore?  People actually have to get out of the car and pump their own gas?"

"What?"  "That's just sad."  "Well, I've NEVER dreamed that women would ever have to do that."

SCENARIO 2:
"I can't believe that woman came to visit this place and didn't wear her false teeth."

"That's why she talked funny."

"Why would a woman ever dare to go out in public without her teeth?"

SCENARIO 3:
"I can't believe I lost and earring.  On top of that, I mistakenly placed my glass on the table without a coaster." 

"Oh you poor dear.  Hope you find your earring.  As for the wet ring from your glass, just ask your housekeeper to wipe it up and bring you a coaster."

"But, she's already left my apartment.  What should I do?"

"Well that is what Mrs. Static is there for."  (meaning ME)

So, yeah.  You think you have it bad don't you.  But, then again, when I'm 88 and retired,  I'll aspire to be that way too.  I guess one would deserve it after putting up with the world this long. :)

Let's play a game of Static's LIKES and DISLIKES.  I am always thinking of things throughout the day that either make me cringe or feel warm & fuzzy.  Here goes:

LIKES (warm and fuzzy):
1. Peanut Butter on a freshly toasted wheat bagel.
2. The cat from Shrek doing that pitiful look to get what he wants.
3. The way my pets act when I get home.  I could have a bad day and instantly get in a good mood when I see them.
4. The 25 greatest piano classics CD that is playing right now.
5. Reading about Michaele Salahi getting laughed at on The View.

DISLIKES (makes me cringe)
1. the word "discharge"
2. Soccer moms who can't drive without their cell phones glued to their ear.
3. HOT WEATHER
4. the bumps under my boobs from sweating under my bra.
5. standing at the gas pump.  It's just too bad they don't have Full Service anymore.  Why should a demure young woman like me have to endure such hardship as pumping gas? It's not fair damn it!

Now let's set some goals for myself.  Goals are always fun to try and achieve.  There is nothing like that sense of accomplishment when you've completed them.  Here goes:

1. To obtain 666 friends on Facebook.  I'm getting pretty darned close.
2. To make my jar of peanut butter last more than a couple of weeks.  I think I can do it, but the way I consume the stuff, I don't knowwwwwww.
3. To stick to one bra size.  This one might be a little more tricky. 
4. To learn how to pose in a picture like a freaking pro.  As of right now, I just blink, have a shit-eating grin on my face, or do some weird thing like shove my rabbit teeth out of my mouth.
5. To learn to love lip gloss instead of relying on my heavy addiction to Chap Stick.  Lip gloss would at least add some color to my face.

Annnnnddddd now we're back.  Join me again next week as explore "Regrets" and possibly some other stupid, random list.