The things I see while driving down the road
Every day, as I'm driving to and from work, I can't help but peer into people's cars when we're stopped at a red light. On a good day, I might catch someone staring back at me and I'll smile. If I'm lucky and we're both riding with our windows down, and the person sneezes, then I'll say "Bless you". But more often than not, I end up next to the ones who decide that THIS is the MOMENT they've been waiting for...that chance to dig their finger up their nose and pull out a nasty piece of snot. Lucky me.
I also get a thrill out of seeing people do something dumb and illegal, (like using the turning lane as their chance to pass cars) and they get caught by the police. HA. HA HA HA. HA!
But, I absolutely HATE getting behind the gals (and occasionally guys) who take the time to put on their makeup in the car...while driving...down the road. And I further hate being behind the person who uses the entire time of the red light to go thru the junk in their backseat to look for something. They get so involved with this task, that when the light turns green, they don't go. They're still on the hunt. Makes me wonder what the heck they have in their backseat...
And don't get me started on people who text and drive. Shame, shame.
A typical day at the retirement home
As you all know, I work at a retirement home. When I hear a good quote worth sharing, I post it on Facebook. Honestly, I should keep a record of this stuff and write a book. It's interesting, their way of thinking of totally different than mine, but in some ways, I kind of envy the life that they got to lead when they were younger.
A typical day upon my arrival at work is to get my morning coffee and sit with them at the breakfast table. They always have the best conversations dealing with (of all things) what was said in the Sound Off Column of our local newspaper, and they never miss glancing at the obituaries "just to make sure I'm not there yet".
Sometimes the conversations turn towards those "Hollywood types". Like for instance, today it was about these rappers coming to Bayfest. The paper had their pictures and the guys were both wearing sunglasses. In true senior form, the residents felt like the guys were hiding something behind those shades. "And what's with all those tattoos?" Or my favorite "Is that a gold tooth in his mouth?"
Part of my job has me running the roads, transporting them to hair appointments, doctor's appointments, etc. On any given day, I might have the lady who likes to block my view when I'm pulling out of the parking lot because she is looking at the traffic for me. Or the gentleman who is a retired mathematics professor that likes to sit there and come up with the calculations of how far we're going, measured in feet. Then he turns that into some kind of formula. Really, it's like watching A Beautiful Mind. And let's not forget the resident who likes to give me random bits of history/trivia about the city. This same person also likes to criticize the youth who choose to wear their pants too low. I'm in agreement there.
Yes, the internet is still an enigma with them, as is cable TV, DVD players, and cell phones. "What, I can't play my DVD cassette in the DVD player? It works upstairs on my DVD VCR!" And no, she doesn't have a combo. She has just a regular VCR.
Random Phone Calls at Work
I guess this one could fall under typical day at the retirement home category, but I think it deserves its on rightful heading. No doubt, from reading my earlier posts, I tend to receive rather strange and/or humorous calls during the day. Our number is 1 digit off from a low-income apartment complex. It's also 1 digit off from an adult novelty store. SO, this means when I check for messages upon my arrival at work, I get a variety of messages to laugh at.
1.. "Jim is here with his hookers"
2. "Hey...HEY...pick up. I know you is there. You be seeing my number...you flat out ignore me"
3. "I am calling in reference to the ad in the paper. What are your business hours? Do you do private parties?"
4. "Look here, I done told you I needed someone to come over and fix my commode" (this was today)
That's just the messages that are left after hours. I get a whole bunch of calls like that during the day. I don't get near as many calls from people actually wanting to talk to ME or anything to do with the retirement home.
That's enough damage for today. Stay tuned for the next post where I will examine another grocery list left in a cart at Wal Mart. I know you're all excited about it.
Until next time, I shall remain:
the young whippersnapper, DVD playa, and smooth operator.
Hah! I need to keep a record of the stuff my boss says. People say I need to turn it into a book. He always very innocently says things that could be taken as inappropriate or could be construed as insulting. Like the time he called me a floater, meaning I have to frequently and readily shift from task to task.
ReplyDeleteOoh, what kind of local history does your resident know? I've been researching local history lately.
One day years ago, I got a series of collect phone calls from the Atmore penitentiary here at work. In the brief seconds allowed for the person to state his name, on the 5th or 6th try he started pleading "Baby, please don't hang up on me! I gotta tell ya 'bout..." It went on all.day.long.
I would LOVE to hear the crazy things your boss says. And as far as the local history goes, I should have made note that it's history of things that are "hush, hush", but interesting nonetheless. I love the collect calls story! Awesome!
ReplyDelete