Let's start from the VERY beginning, shall we? I know you're all holding your breath. The show opens with the pageant host getting all giddy and salivating at the idea that the pageant is an 80's themed pageant. YEAH! Apparently (having never really watched this show before) there are various pageants ALL over the USA. They're all called "Little Miss I'm Four but I wear more makeup than you Pageant", or they're called "Little Miss I can pitch a bitch fit like a real diva pageant" or even "Little Miss Little Miss Can't Be Wrong" and the winner(s) all get crowns and maybe a princess bed...and OH MY GAWWWWWWSH $1000.
This episode is apparently focusing on two up and coming little precociosly psycho princesses. I can't remember their names. But we'll call them Lucy Furr and B. Ella Zebub.
Our first contestant, Lucy, hails from the state of Louisiana. Her ambition is to be a veterinarian and a performer. While on the show, she makes a spectacle of herself. There is one scene that strikes me as odd: she's 6 years old and has a pacifier in her mouth. Her mom is a typical pageant mom. The little tyke is sporting so much hairspray, fake tanning lotion, and heavy makeup. Lucy's bitch fits are about to send her mom thru the roof. Lucy has a meltdown when her mom tries to put earrings in her ear. She has meltdown #2 when someone wanted to brush her hair. Meltdown #3 occured right before the last part of the competition.
Our second contestant, B. Ella, hails from Arkansas. Her ambition is to just be pretty and famous. Straight up, her mom is a redneck and is the one who is more excited for her daughter winning these pageants. The mom is seen giving her daughter Red Bull to get her energy up. But on the show, she calls it her Coke Concoction..or something like that. She probably mixed Coke and Red Bull and voila...you have instant diva devil. Little B. Ella also takes top honors in pitching fits and screaming bloody murder when someone dares to look at her wrong or just brushes her hair.
Moving along with the show, we meet the judges. One judge says that she looks for girls who have "obviously taken the time to tan, wears makeup, and dressed up approrpiately". Last time I checked, most little girls that I know don't wear makeup, don't sit in a tanning bed or spray tan booth, and they wear Osh Kosh B'Gosh. Maybe it's just me....
The show goes on to show the end of the pageant. Our future little Lolitas don't win. BWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! I WANT A CROWNNNNNNNN. BWAHHHHHHHHHHH.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to puke.
So, where have I been the last two months? Well, let's play catch-up. I still work at the retirement home and I still do theatre. There, you're caught up now.
Let me share with you the Lost and Found situation here at work. Well, more like, FOUND and it always ends up on my desk somehow. The residents will find random things, like keys, bracelets, earrings, drill bit, and eyeglasses. But, I must say that I now have two pair of eyeglasses. Surely, I mean SURELY someone out there knows that their glasses are missing. Surely. But yeah, some of the weirdest things to accrue at my desk have been a cordless phone covered in makeup (can't be sure, but this could almost be evidence in some kind of something case...not sure), a remote control to a VCR, matchbook with no matches but a dead bug (a cruel joke, perhaps), fake fruit, and a 2005 calendar.
I've been keeping up with
Well, that's enough for today kiddos. I've got to finish my work. Hopefully now I will be more diligent in my writing for all 10 of you readers. :)
Now if they could make the Toddlers & Tiaras show Wii interactive, so you could bitch slap whomever/whenever you wanted, I'm sure you could get into it better. It would be a sensation!
ReplyDelete